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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29544432">heartbreak</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gurimjaa/pseuds/gurimjaa'>gurimjaa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>moments in between [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>LOONA (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Breakup, F/F, side lipsoul, yvesoul break up so be ready</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:41:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,325</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29544432</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gurimjaa/pseuds/gurimjaa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jinsol learns that love is unfair, how destiny makes two people to meet and fall in love, and how it decides two people are never meant to be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>moments in between [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>heartbreak</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i’ve never been a fan of angst, but heartbreak suddenly made me want to cry while writing.</p>
<p>wrote this in a few days, so it may be a little messy, with some gaps or just bad, i warned you :v</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinsol is not ready the day Sooyoung breaks up with her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Even if she knew it was coming, she was never ever going to be prepared.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For some weeks, the usual love in Sooyoung’s eyes began fading so slowly each time Jinsol looked at her. Her smiles started faltering, and her kisses- her kisses were more and more absent, the sweetness in them became bitter and almost unwelcomed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinsol didn’t know exactly why, but she knew Sooyoung stopped loving her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So the day Sooyoung comes unannounced into her apartment, doesn’t say anything more beside the words that make her heart bleed, “let’s break up,” Jinsol is not ready to let go.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinsol’s breath hitches, a feeling pressures her chest and everything she can think is… nothing. She just stares ahead, straight into Sooyoung, but doesn’t even find sadness in Sooyoung’s eyes; there’s only resolution and… exhaustion.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” Jinsol squeaks, words tumble out mindlessly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I met someone else,” she says, and a lump forms in Jinsol’s throat. “And I think I like them.” Sooyoung doesn’t tear her gaze from Jinsol, yet the latter doesn’t know what to say, her thoughts empty. Jinsol hears Sooyoung speaking, but doesn’t really process them. “There’s nothing else more to say… I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooyoung takes a tentative step back, ready to leave, to leave Jinsol alone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, I- I don’t understand,” Jinsol scrambles.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Jinsol,” Sooyoung says, once, twice… Until she’s gone and Jinsol meets the heartbreaking silence inside of her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It takes a couple of seconds, but then everything rushes into her mind and she finally realizes Sooyoung has broken up with her, and fallen in love with someone else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The lump in her throat comes out in a choke; that’s the beginning of quiet and endless sobs she lets out that day.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>–</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The days pass, empty, numb.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The burning feeling in her chest doesn’t go. At night, it becomes unbearable when her mind floods with memories of Sooyoung’s presence, her voice, her touches.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinsol knows there hasn’t been a single night she didn’t cry herself to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She wonders what has gone wrong, yet doesn’t find an answer on her own.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Telling her friends is not easy too, less when they ask about Sooyoung. She can’t bring herself to speak a single word of how their perfect love for each other just disappeared in a blink of an eye.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So it’s turmoil when Jungeun finally finds out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinsol doesn’t know why Jungeun gets so angry, doesn't understand when or why their voices have been gradually rising until probably her neighbors can hear clearly their conversation and eventually, Jungeun stomps her feet out of Jinsol’s apartment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t feel an ounce better if not worse than what she already feels inside, her tears stream down her face when she can’t do anything more than fall in her knees and release intense sobs. She feels like she can’t breathe, like the pain in her chest spreads to every joint in her body and she’s going to collapse.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t falter, yet next morning everything has turned into an uncomfortable ache all over her body. She skips classes and work that day, not even bothers in checking her phone, even though she hears (and ignores) the constant buzzing of it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Around afternoon everything becomes silent, the sound of her phone and the insistence ceases.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>However, Jungeun appears through the door of her bedroom.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t apologize, she knows she doesn’t need to when she gets nearer Jinsol’s bed and lays down by her side; and even if Jinsol turns her back from Jungeun to hide more tears in her already stained face, Jungeun is there, consoling her with quiet whispers and a gentle voice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At one point, Jinsol feels like she has no more tears to shred, but every ounce of energy was gone with them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinsol can’t bring herself out of her bed, absent of energy, physically and mentally, as Jungeun asks her to eat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yet </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jungeun is there</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And she stays.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t repair the broken pieces of her heart; nevertheless, Jungeun’s presence works as the anchor Jinsol never imagined she needed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>–</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Step by step, day by day, Jinsol gets better, but her heart takes more time for it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her grades and her performance have dropped, not so drastically, yet she’s barely hanging in there. Everyone else, even if they notice the change in Jinsol’s demeanor, don’t say anything about it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In contrast, Jungeun does, and makes sure to check on Jinsol every time she can.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In result, Jinsol starts wondering why Jungeun cares so much.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m your best friend, I worry about you,” Jungeun answers, and Jinsol doesn’t understand why her hurting feelings reflect in Jungeun’s eyes. Jinsol asks herself if that’s how Jungeun has seen her the past days; a gaze filled with nothing but sadness.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinsol doesn’t really have time to question it, because a second later Jungeun is smiling so sweetly at her, until maybe, just maybe, she feels her heart swooning.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jungeun slides closer to Jinsol, even if she leaves a massive empty space at the opposite side of the couch and Jinsol can think of nothing more than Jungeun’s warm presence beside her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A smile mindlessly blooms in her face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everything was going to get better.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>–</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Until she makes one of many mistakes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A particular night, she gets drunk, alone, in her apartment. She wakes up with her phone in hand, immediately eyeing the call that is registered there.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Ha Sooyoung</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinsol feels her blood turn cold and her throat tightens as she keeps looking at the familiar name shining on the screen.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her chest constricts as the memories of last night flood in her mind, the present headache intensifying and making her squeeze her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So Jinsol guesses that maybe it was finally time to face Sooyoung after a year and several months without seeing her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>–</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To stretch an arm and caress Sooyoung’s cheek is the first thing she wants to do, yet has to remind herself Sooyoung is not hers to touch anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooyoung is shining; she has cut some side bangs and her hair up to her shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinsol has to stop her heart from beating so fast and her mind from remembering all the hurt she’s gone through.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They don’t talk much, don’t really ask how the other’s life is. Jinsol can’t say she’s okay when she has Sooyoung right beside her and her chest burns. Less does she want to hear how Sooyoung might be doing more than fine with her life if Jinsol wasn’t in it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But even after all, Jinsol doesn’t blame Sooyoung. She couldn’t.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Several nights, she has thought if hating Sooyoung would have been easier. But how could she throw out all the love she still felt? She wonders how Sooyoung did it, to stop loving.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And Jinsol, again, tries to figure out what has gone wrong.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think it would have worked if we met in another moment, instead?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think so,” Sooyoung says in a dreary voice but without remorse, even if she’s sure it breaks and stabs Jinsol deep in her heart. Jinsol holds back a wince and the tears that threaten to pool in her eyes. She takes a deep breath.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s true, Jinsol knows. Never actually thought she would hear it directly from Sooyoung, and maybe she needs to hear the painful truth to finally fall out of love, to let go, and forget Sooyoung.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Jinsol?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just wanted you to know that I loved you, I really did. I still cherish the moments we shared, and when I think of you, I’m happy. I’m happy I met you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinsol smiles, yet it doesn’t reach her heart nor her eyes. She feels the same, but can’t bring herself to say it when she’s been so long in heartbreak. “Maybe, just maybe, in some other time we will be able to be friends.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope so.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it seems like writing angst does help (only a little) with heartbreak.</p>
<p>even so, if you reached this, i hope you liked it :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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